Why You Shouldn't Have Anal Sex

By , February 7, 2013


Anal sex can be amazing - and orgasmic. As my friend and fellow sex educator Rachel Venning says, "Anal sex is like yoga for your butt!" And I agree. It's healthy for the anal muscles, bringing blood and circulation into the sphincter. But I'm also not afraid to address the obstacles to having great anal play. Here are four valid reasons why you might not want to do it.

You Are Dangerous

The No.1 household item people put in their butts? A Sharpie pen. I'm guessing they are attracted by the rounded tip? Unfortunately, using any item for anal penetration that does not have a flared base is a dangerous thing to do. So please stop putting objects not intended for anal play in your butt. Use fingers, a penis or a toy that is designed for that purpose (it will have a flared base designed to anchor it outside of your body). You know those x-rays you see of people with a cell phone or toy car stuck in their butts? Those are x-rays of real people. I donít want to see your x-ray on the Internet. (For some background info on going through the back door, check out What You Need to Know About Anal Sex.)

You Lack Anatomical Knowledge

The basics of anal sex health and pleasure are really very easy to understand, but making mistakes is just as easy. Consequently, many people have had bad experiences with anal sex. Often they have had a partner who has tried to enter their ass without asking permission. That can be very painful. A body remembers that kind of pain.

Anal sex, when done properly, should not hurt. It might feel funny, like you are pooping backwards, but it should not hurt. You must use lube because unlike the vagina, your butt is not self-lubricating. In other words, anal sex is different, and it takes a little more knowledge and preparation. So study up, butt lovers. Start by reading "Anal Health and Pleasure." Youíll learn how to approach that tricky little ring of delightful muscles, the G-spot, the prostate and how to care for yourself and your lovers.

You Have Issues

Letís talk about some of the real issues that can be an obstacle to enjoying anal sex. These issues might include irritable bowel syndrome, neuromuscular disorders, colitis, Crohnís disease, inflammation, food allergies and eating disorders like binging and purging. Or you might be experiencing temporary issues like flu or food poisoning or simply not experiencing regular, healthy bowel movements. If you suffer from digestive disorders, often itís best to just love your body and side-step anal sex. Instead, concentrate on all your other awesome orifices and enjoy them with hands, toys or anything else you can come up with. You can also search the Mayo Clinic for insight and advice on how to heal digestive ailments and live well with your body.

You Are Totally Intoxicated

The idea of being sober for sex play may be confusing for some people, but every time I hear about something going wrong with anal sex, there is inevitably alcohol and/or drugs involved. These substances affect a personís nervous system and limit their ability to feel what is happening. As I said before, anal sex should never hurt. It may feel odd, especially for someone who has never experienced it before, but it should not hurt. Pain is a sign that something is wrong. I always say to people, "You know how a person can go out, get drunk, come home with a bruise or a skinned knee and not even know how it happened? Well, you donít want to do that to your ass!" Itís funny to think about, but you get my point. You want to be able to feel what is happening during anal sex. Injuries are rare and totally avoidable if you are listening and responding to your bodyís needs.

According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 40 percent of adults have experienced anal sex. Of those, 20 percent have enjoyed it within the last year. Lots of people find joy, orgasms and pleasure by way of this equal opportunity orifice! And if you decide that you want to add anal play to your roster, thatís all I want for you too. Just do it safely. Please. Ultimately, itís your butt on the line.




A Lifestyle User Guide

Common Sense Safety

1) Use a fresh latex condom each and every time for intercourse.
The condom should be used correctly (rolled down the entire shaft of
the penis as far as it can go) and no penile/vaginal contact should
occur without the condom in place. (Also, a water-based lubricant
should be applied as needed.)
2) As soon as is practical after giving oral sex, rinse your mouth
thoroughly with an anti-bacterial mouthwash (example: Peroxyl).
Also, wash the area around your mouth with soap and water.
3) As soon as is practical after intercourse or receiving oral
sex, wash your genitals and the area around your genitals with soap
and water.
4) Urinate after intercourse or receiving oral sex.
5) Be clean. Make sure your and your partner's hands and genitals
have been washed with soap and mouth rinsed with mouthwash before sex
play. (However, do not brush your teeth or floss just before -or
just after- oral sex play, especially if brushing with a hard bristle
6) Never give oral sex or kiss if you have any kind of open wound
in the mouth or on or near the lips (cheek bites, tongue bites,
canker sores, cold sores, etc.).
7) Never engage in intercourse or receive oral sex if there is any
soreness or a health issue of any kind in the genitals.
8) Thoroughly wash any sex toy with antibacterial soap just prior
to use.
9) Never allow anything with a high sugar content, in or near the
vagina (heightens risk of yeast infection).
10) Refrain from anal penetration in sex play; if anal penetration
occurs, be sure that whatever was inserted in the anus is kept away
from any other body opening until it can be thoroughly cleaned with
antibacterial soap. (Note: anal intercourse is the riskiest type of
sex play due to the greater likelihood of tearing tissue. Use of a
condom and generous application of water-based lubricant is
absolutely required in every instance.)
11) Engage in sex in a place with lighting sufficient to clearly
see your partner's genitals. Have a good look at them as part of
foreplay. If there is anything that appears to be unusual bumps,
pimples, sores, infections, abnormal discharges, etc. in the area,
refrain from further sex play. If this is not deemed to be an option,
offer to engage in non-penetrative sex, such as mutual masturbation,
to completion.
12) If you haven't been already, immediately arrange to be
vaccinated against Hepatitis B.

("As soon as is practical" in 2 and 3 above does not necessarily mean
awkwardly jumping up in the middle of foreplay and running to the
bathroom. However, it does mean that shortly after sex play reaches
completion, rinsing and washing should be taken care of.)

Also, if any issue arises regarding your sexual health, promptly seek
proper medical diagnosis and treatment. Left untreated, genital
problems can quickly develop into a serious threat to your health.

Condom use is always an issue for men as it undeniably reduces
pleasurable sensation. This negative aspect can be reduced somewhat
by using thinner (Crown, Kimino, etc.) or more comfortable latex
condoms and by applying (or reapplying) adequate lubricant
(Astroglide, etc.) to the exterior of the condom, if needed. Men
should try different brands and sizes of latex condoms to find the
one that reduces pleasurable sensation the least while still
providing the required safety.

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